fat after anorexia recovery fat after anorexia recovery

This was comforting to read. Thank you so much for your advice, your research has shed much light on my journey. I could even make myself love my sticky out stomach because I taught myself to see it as a trophy. Thank you for posting this article, it addressed my exact concerns. and how "I have curves, and breasts, and I love them!" you helped me so much, stay strong! I went to a water park with my family and was refused to be allowed down the slide because pregnant women are not allowed. I was depressed through the worst parts of my restriction, but I feel even worse now. The last time I visited my sister overseas she saw how little I eat and the size of my abdomen and begged me to get a CARt scan of my belly, like I had a tumor in there or something! I was scared to eat, and then when I did I felt sick and bloated. I am experiencing the distended belly bloat and it is extremely uncomfortable but this helps me feel like I am on the right path and in time, it will all get better. Expert tips to handle a partner or co-worker who feeds on drama. Im not at all bothered how thick my arms and legs get, in fact I love the fat on them, and no longer looking skeletal but curvy is lovely. This certain knowledge makes it all bearable. Then after 2 months in the hospital I was sent home to live with my mom because my insurance refused to pay for any more hospitalization. And improvement from the physical symptoms and other related ailments caused by malnutrition is a key milestone of recovery. As an adult in recovery, I think that being set up for all the challenges that might have caused me to relapse from the beginning would have in the long run been helpful. There's the hunger and preoccupation with food combined with the mental reluctance and the physical complications of eating. Of all the areas it has to redistribute to it has to be the stomach area, which has always been my number one trigger for me. This was around the same time that I also got my period(I wrote about that in detail too). What it comes down to is trust and understanding. Then the once-skeletal sufferer can start to rediscover what his or her healthy body looks and feels like. But am told I need to increase calories by 400 if I train. I hope you are doing well. Im scared that if I eat to recovery my tummy will be huge, after a year it wont distribute, and Ill be stuck with fat stomach. You will have to work for it, but you can achieve it and once you have maintained it for a couple of months to a year, your body will hold you there. Ioakimidis, I., Zandian, M., Ulbl, F., Bergh, C., Leon, M., and Sdersten, P. (2011). I knew about this phenomenon before, but experiencing it first hand really seems to be the acid test of whether or not I can pull through with this. i want to thank you so much for this , i feel so frustrated everyday cause of this. Id rather have had a big tummy for the rest of my life than have Anorexia. without any negative impact of restricting behaviours), bodyweightand specifically body fatincreases beyond the level at which it was stable before weight loss, but gradually drops back again to pre-starvation levels within a year or so. Your post has helped me keep going! Im struggling with this. When I had anorexia, I did not suffer from body dysmorphia, so I was acutely aware of how thin I looked and unattractive it was. Thank you for this. I like to sometimes think Im pseddo recovered but deep down I know Im not . I know its been awhile, but how are you doing now? And this illusion is doubly problematic: Not only does the person with anorexia often assume that he or she wont be able to adjust metabolically and in other ways to weight gain; (s)he often also dreads, despises, and/or believes inaccessible the normality of having achieved a healthy weight. I feel as if Im bingeing but need to remember Im feeding my body. Dry mouth, sunken cheeks and eyes, and severe electrolyte imbalances also can occur. Just wondering if you have experience redistribution, and if so, how long did it take??? A year and 2 months is not a long time and especially if you had a 3 month relapse! Second, their work makes clear that full refeeding, allowing for a possible temporary overshoot in bodyweight, is necessary if an optimal ratio of fat mass to fat-free mass (FFM, e.g. Im not sure either if there is a difference between men and women with weight distribution. However, I feel EXACTLY the eay you describe. You most probably have been the one to help break through a major wall in my recovery. I dont think there is any set rule that we can all follow as we are all so different. Todd Williamson/E! So in the end, is it bad to indulge (and I mean INDULDGE) in the foods that I have restricted for so long, or should I cut out the sugar and try to induldge in other foods that I missed (I also crave pizza and burgers like crazy). I literally looked in the mirror the other day and noticed that my arms, legs and breasts looked so much thicker and healthier, I had a noticeable waist and I had dropped a dress size. I am 54 with a long long history of restriction, and have been in full recovery for 9 months which is about how pregnant I look also, as a coincidence. Ive still got 10kg to gain, and just think that my belly mid region will be huge by then, and it will never spread. I hope this combination might be helpful if youre looking for a way to renew your motivation to achieve full recovery. Where is the fat coming from? What did you do about that/how did you cope with it? Do you know of anything that speeds up or slows down the process? Thankyou dear woman xxx. Hopefully youll come back one day and tell me! It has helped me not relapse! Real recovery comes only once all those stages are completed. I was very underweight, malnourished, and had amenorrhea, restored weight over a long period but fought the body shape my body found itself in vehemently, having many lapses over a couple years until I was more dedicated to recovery and even experienced the redistribution of weight I felt pretty good about my body. Thank you for replying Tabitha. One of the biggest eating disorder symptoms involved with anorexia nervosa is malnutrition, due to a severely limited diet. Bloating and wind, abdominal discomfort, and stomach cramps are likely as the digestive system adapts to larger amounts of food and the muscles involved stretch and strengthen. I so needed to read this! The concept of a "body weight set point" (e.g. Reading that you were willing to look fat in order to beat anorexia puts a whole new perspective on things. I am shocked and so proud that I got my period back in one month after having lost it for 3 years. What did you eat when recovering? In the beginning, my anxiety over weight gain was greater than my general anxiety and C-PTSD. I know it rationally makes sense- but there is such an emotional significance wrapped around body shape. I gained some ridiculous amount of weight over this past Thanksgiving something like 10 lbs in a week, and its been so strange, simultaneously (and rationally) being happy to have gained but wondering how much was simply bloat and water retention, and then another part of my consciousness (irrationally) hating my body for looking so fat, and wanting to go back to the old habits. Thank you! The peanut butter lesson. I think that hating ED is pretty healthy actually, as I had to hate mine so much I would do anything to get rid of it. I am so glad this was a help to you. I was covered in ugly reddened patches of skin where the bones rubbed against my clothes. How long did you go with the same weight (with no gaining) before it redistributed? But all the fat has gone to my stomach and thighs and butt! Does Your Therapist Talk More Than You Do? | Slips, backslides, and relapse tend to be the rule, rather than the exception. Some people do gain fast at the start. PostedOctober 31, 2011 This time I want to set out in a little more detail the physical changes that often occur when anyone severely malnourished begins to regain weightwhether they have anorexia or have been malnourished for some other reason. I have so much support, the drive to change my life, and a wonderful treatment team, but every day in recovery is a painful struggle for me. .weight-recovered women with AN who are able to maintain a normal body weight show redistribution of adipose tissue back toward the distribution seen in matched control subjects over 1 y of follow-up. I could sit down without getting sore. Hi Tabitha, Thank you so much for writing this. In fact I googled this very topic about fat distribution. Very skinny calls and forearms. Then I just didnt really care if it was huge or not. Youve experienced one or two of those shifts between the phases of recovery but not yet all of them. The my Pelvic Floor Dysfunction got worse & I began to lose weight slowly again. Some of my thoughts address the physiological side of things and some address the cognitive aspects. The more we talk about things the more that we are able to work through them. Its finally starting to come off by eating more. Some of what I say here will reflect my experience and motivations at the time of recovery, and some represents my thinking on it since. It's really confusing, is this normal??? Thank you so much for explaining what is happening. By Sarah-Ashley Robbins, MD. And Id rather have the tummy than anorexia, thats for sure. Everyones experience is different, but do you think it matters as to what sort of fat this is as to how long redistribution might take? I was wondering how long you have to be malnourished for, for something like this to happen? But then anorexia is all of those things most of the time, statically. Clothes looked and felt better. Please do not increase exercise. The key is to not focus on those thoughts as absolute truths. Thanks to Cheryl for requesting this postsuggestions are always welcomeand to all my readers for their consistently stimulating questions and their courageous sharing. I knew I hadnt relapsed! I thought of recording comments from clients who successfully hung in there during the hard days,weeks and months prior to the redistribution. There are days when I feel nostalgic for my eating disorder, but looking back, that was the lowest point of my life.. Many people in recovery from anorexia may develop fluid retention, which can look like fat deposits. I havent gone to work many days due to the way I look (and feel) in my clothes. Remember that my advice is just my own opinion. Im the same as you Louise Im trying my hardest but not convinced. Reviewed by Kaja Perina, Anorexia is about eating as little as possible. For some reason, all my weight restoration went to my head and face (literally as well as figuratively) rather than my stomach. Hi Tabitha, thank you for writing about this. Ive never had extreme hunger and Im constantly so full after every meal and never hungry. I have three kids and once I decided to enter treatment, I committed wholeheartedly to recovery. Tabitha please help me . Open-access journal record here. Youve just spent however many months clutching your way painfully back from danger and misery. Thanks. i have fat around my sides that i dont remember ever having. But I do see a counselor who specializes in eating disorders. I started 3 months ago and extreme hunger has hit almost everyday though it has slowed down a ton. The Link Between Eating Disorders and Attachment Styles, Sibling Suicide Survivors: The "Forgotten Mourners". But broadly speaking this concept is highly relevant to our concerns when were thinking about recovery from anorexia, in two respects. I do not know your situation, but I imagine that if you believe you might have been malnourished that you were. Tabitha this post was so helpful. The American Journal of Clinical Nutrition, 65(3), 717-723. All I can tell you is my story, but trusting is up to you. If I did this YOU CAN TOO. Your article has relieved some fears and Ill continue to eat my 2 bagels in the morning. I want to be patient enough to see this happen, but I dont know what the outcome will be. Hi Tabitha, Even assuming you do the sensible thing and choose option 2 here, however, that of course doesnt make everything automatically easy. Because we are all different, we all experience anorexia differently and we all experience recovery differently; however there are many of us that share symptoms and experiences, and in talking about them we can help one another understand. Journal of Adolescent Health, 32(1), 83-88. You have done so well. So that evening, I wrote in an email to my soon-to-be partner of my "shock, fear, and disbelief" at the numbers on the scales, but I also wrote about how "it is really remarkably wonderful to be safely within the healthy range, both in immediate terms and for the sake of my future" and of how "even a month ago there were so many more rules and rigidities so firmly in place. I dont get it. Keeping one's mind focused on the reasons that contributed to the decision to embark on recovery can help in this regard. This means that when you get there (building in the overshoot factor), your metabolic rate will be ramped up to normal levels again, which will mean that you will be able to keep eating the same amount as was supporting weight gain, and you will not keep gaining forever. Thank you for reading. Now, at 52, I have the belly you are talking about. I also knew how great I looked, but I found myself covering up my stomach, which was certainly disproportionately large. What I will say is that the only way out of Anorexia is to eat, regardless of how you feel about that, it is the inevitable truth. This is very important to not judge the comment or concern as irrational and to discuss the concerns openly and honestly. I have read your article so many times Tabatha, and it gives me hope. I am on my 5th month of recovery and am having a really difficult time with my tummy. It really bothers me. email me if you want me to help you find some treatment options. First, their analysis indicates that extreme hunger (known as hyperphagia) in the weight-gain phase is driven by signaling mechanisms from both fat mass and fat-free mass; that is, you carry on feeling hungrier than usual until both types of tissue are fully restored. There is absolutely no way you will ever recover fully if you decide on a (for your body) arbitrary BMI like 20 and, once you reach it, start restricting again to make sure you stay there. Remember that one thing that the disease will do is tell you that you dont look okaythats just how anorexia worksyour job is to work very hard to overcome this and ignore what your eating disorder is telling you about the way that you look. However, this fact is important to be aware of in terms of recovery, and just because it is not easy to talk about I do not think it should be ignored. I went from an AA cup to a C cup in recovery. Ive been struggling in recovery for about a year and per BMI am still considered obese even after losing 170 lbs in a years time from anorexia. It is so good to know that I am not the only one. When a person is actively restricting calories, the metabolism becomes very slow. I makes me happy that you are in a place of understanding too and that you got their via research. Thank you so much for your written experience. As I keep looking at my stomach I feel like if I did start eating like I am supposed to I will get even bigger. Therapy hasnt really helped me either. Furthermore, recovery may be impacted. Youll hold onto it if you eat less. I am 45 years old and have struggled with purging disorder and restricting for 32 years. I learned to embrace it and love it. So this stated that ones who suffered longer were more likely to have uneven gain? Im really late but I would like to know what happened to you..did your weight end up redistributing? They my stomach is distended so much. the long term affect of this has caused me to feel very unconfident about my body as Im so skinny I have lost my feminine figure. I had maintained my weight at 10 pounds below what I had gotten up to when I was deemed fully recovered by my PCP) for a long time. Fluid retention can cause edema around the ankles (during the day) and around the eyes (at night), seemingly confirming that recovery will mean nothing but 'getting fat'. Psychology Today 2023 Sussex Publishers, LLC. When I educated myself as to the science surrounding anorexia recovery, I was able to develop confidence about the path my own recovery was taking. Crystal Kung Minkoff admitted that shes considered taking Ozempic while in recovery for an eating disorder. As you point out, a side effect of anorexia can be secondary amenorrhea (loss of period for six months of longer). THANK YOU SO MUCH literally this has described my experience to a T, and Ive never had words for it all these years until now. Gwyneth Olwyn, a well-known patient advocate and blogger on eating disorders, refuses even to use the term "recovery" as a state rather than a process, insisting that the most we can ever hope for is a full, resilient, or stable remission. Re-learning normal eating habits and coping skills can take a long period of time and often requires lots of support from professionals, friends, and family. I also wish there were some studies on WHEN redistribution happens. Sugar is one of the most common ingredients in the modern U.S. diet. I dont want to be 200 lbs but with this pattern I may be there by the end of this year if I continue gaining 10lbs a month! I am a recovered anorexic for 9 years now( struggled 10 long years 1994-2004) but have lost weight slowly over the course of 6 years due to Pelvic Floor Dysfunction probably after I had a hysterectomy in 2008. Thank you so much for this. I also continue to research into the functional qualities of adipose tissue and human health, as for me understanding why it is not normal or healthy to have a flat tummy is helpful. I recently learned about the MinnieMaud treatment plan are you at all familiar? I was wondering if you knew how the length and severity of malnutrition affect how weight redistributes? Thank you. The other key physiological point to bear in mind is that natural or ideal bodyweight varies between individuals. Ho, Im 16 and was hospitalised last year after years of ANI was discharged late December and around March this year I reached a weight the outpatient clinic was happy with. It really angers me that people asked me that. Im recovering after a lifetime of problems, Im in my late 30s. Did you ever get this looked at and worked on? But apprehension at specific possibilities is better than a fear of the limitless unknown. It also illustrates the challenge of treatment for older patients with anorexia who may be trying to achieve recovery with a starved brain. Research supports that only with full and sustained weight restoration are individuals fully able to maintain their own recovery. Psychotherapy and Psychosomatics, 72(1), 16-25. Thank you so much for finding out what is going on. This is not the so called ED voice talking. I dont think of my stomach as fat when it is distended because I know its not. (This is often also referred to as hyperphagia; see e.g. I dont know if you still struggle with recovery binges or anything like that but if you do, thats another thing thats gone away for me! Its not you that is unwilling to believe that it wont redistribute, it is your ED making you think that because your ED does not want you to try and recover. ED is a bitch, and its tiring and frustrating. Really struggling right now with the fear that Im recovering wrong or have just made myself fat ? Rest and heal. Amazon preview here. 1 here. European Journal of Clinical Nutrition, 71(3),353-357. Now that Ive started recovery, Ive regained some weight and definitely am seeing more weight in my abdomen. Thank you so much, thats a relief really, Im 14 and Ive been going through this for 7 months and Im starting to gain weight, Ive noticed it was in my stomach some or than I would like it to be. My first few days I managed to polish off three things of peanut butter that were each 1/3 full, and large amonts of cookies, and other sweets that were off limits in my eating disorder mind. Actually, guys get eating disorders too you know. . Interpretation is something humans do continually and automatically. Bloody great reading my stomach has done this it terrified me its redistributed alot now again.im so glad i found you Tabs i feel like there is hope for me now ive had very weak digestion due to laxative abuse and anorexia .lx, hey, i know your comment is very old, and you might not even get this reply, but i hope youre doing well now! Todd Williamson/E! Dry skin isn't the only mark of dehydration in people with eating disorders. I know what that voice is & it has been gone for 9 years. I realized even after reading that much that was all I had needed. Recovery takes a lot of workboth mental and physicaland it is a process. I just feel sometimes as if all that hard work had been wasted and that Ill end up in obesity. You cant predict everything about recovery, and thats part of what makes it scary because anorexia needs predictability. But you can predict most things, and that makes it scary too, because anorexia hates being predictable. I miss looking healthy. Though technically, part of the clinical diagnosis of Anorexia Nervosa is losing 15 percent or more of what your normal body weight should be, you do not need to be super thin in order to have an eating disorder. I have both, but my abdominal weight gain seems to be mostly (70-80%) visceral (which I find just as distressing as the jiggly, outer subcutaneous fat). This process is constantly making me feel ugly, fat and hideous and the confidence I once had when my body was still bony has disappeared! HI Is this normal? I know I shouldnt eat anything, but I find myself craving nothing but typical teenager foods (sweets, chips, ect.) Im not sure if this is a common occurrence or whether its just because Im a guy, but it freaks me out just as much as anything. What are your thoughts on this? 5. Then, when my body trusted that I would continue to eat regularly and I was eating enough fat every meal, I stopped binge eating. Why Does Self-Care Sometimes Feel So Hard? The awesome body I had at 119, I crave, and cry, to have back. You dont stop loving your friends if they change shape so you shouldnt stop loving your body if it changes shape a bit either. Gwyneth Olwyn also talks about the belly on her site youreatopia, another source of encouragement. This sequence means that things like bloating and disproportionate sensations of fullness are bound to be bad to begin with, and that things like the extreme hunger may get dramatically better only towards the very endthe end of the natural process, not the "end" where your anorexia wants it to be. Ugh! It explains so much of what I have felt and feel. Holm-Denoma, J.M., Witte, T.K., Gordon, K.H., Herzog, D.B., Franko, D.L., Fichter, M., and Joiner, T.E. I too am in, what might as well be a training bra! You need some help. 3. But if you keep in mind the reasons why weight gain is a good thing, and the reasons why you dont want to be ill anymore (not even semi-ill), it will be bearable. You need to be on board with your body, and you need to trust your body. Also, that you could see a specialist to help you with this. Im eating well over 2500+ cal a day and Im 53. In general, weight fluctuations over the course of the day, and from day to day, aren't negligible, so it's important not to attribute significance to a single reading, but to assess at least three readings, taken across three weeks, in order to draw a conclusion about whether weight gain (or loss, or plateauing) is a trend or just an anomaly. I have no problems with my eating and continue to eat the food I need to, which I now enjoy for the first time in my life, How long will this fat take to redistribute, maybe its just how my body is? I just love sweets and have missed them for so long, and really enjoy them, and for once dont feel guilty after eating them. You do, and it is. Hang in there girl! Even my clothes are getting tight. I am aware of my discomfort in my body all day, every day. I feel like its taking an extremely long time for my tummy to normalize. Youll get wonderfully muscular arms maybe where we get boobs and a butt? It honestly scares me to think that it will take up to a year for complete weight redistribution Ive been sick for 10 years and have been underweight Recovery just needs to be more important to me than a flat stomach. Trustful parenting is thrown off course, in various ways, when fear prevails. At the same time I started to lose my overshoot weight. Basically my belly got huge. I am so happy that this post has helped you. Ive been in active recovery since late 2017 and only now has my belly fat redistributed itself, after more than a year of being weight restored. Problems that no amount of dieting or weight loss can cure. I am very interested in what you had to say. Anorexia nervosa: A survival guide for families, friends and sufferers. I am a Clinician who counseled many recovering adolescent clients/families surrounding the redistribution of fat.especially concerning and obvious around the abdomen. And it looks like its all on my belly. I am concerned that the weight will not distribute from thigh area? The eating disorder keeps telling me that I will be the one Hydration. I feel like a freak and that Ill forever be obese which is where my weight seems to be heading. People say you dont gain Forever but it seems that way for me!